Confessions of a 33-year-old SAHM

Disclaimer: We love our church and our pastor. The following story is just another classic example of how crazy things happen to us no matter what we do or where we go...

I have to confess...something very serious. I can't believe I'm actually admitting this, but I have now seen something on the Internet that I thought I would never see. Something so degrading to "women" that I could barely stand it.

Oddly enough, I learned about it CHURCH. What kind of church is this, you ask? Let me tell you...

It was an ordinary service. Levi was fidgety, trying to escape the sanctuary by any means whatsoever. When all the sudden, a Lego scene depicting the memory verse was flashed on the screen. Levi gasped with excitement. "What's this," I thought to myself. "Lego people illustrating Bible stories. What better way to get Levi to learn about different Bible stories. This is AWESOME."

I quickly made note of the website, and Levi logged on as soon as he entered our house. I couldn't have been happier. He was clicking through all kinds of Bible stories from both the Old and New Testaments...everything from Noah to Jesus' birth.

As Levi was expanding his Biblical knowledge, I was on the phone with my friend, Amanda. I was so excited to tell her about the cool, new website that we had just discovered only hours earlier. I was apparently way behind, as she already knew all about the site. "Get him off of there right now," she says, interrupting me mid-sentence. I couldn't imagine what she was referring to. After all, these are Bible stories for crying out loud. Calm down...relax...it's Legos. Legos...building blocks...kids toys...Legos.

After some minor navigating through the site, I saw it with my own eyes. There is was, right there staring at me. It was Lego porn.

Yup, I said Lego porn. I never guessed I could view Legos in such a way. I can't say I ever thought about it before, but now I can't get it out of my mind. I can just see me explaining why the Legos were doing that to each other. Just yesterday Levi asked me how Oliver the cat (who is a girl) could have babies if she wasn't married. And now, I just about had to explain the birds and the bees using Legos characters in compromising positions as examples.

To make matters worse, Ken wouldn't stop looking at it. He would click on a story, laugh, and call me to look. Seriously? STOP LOOKING AT THE LEGOS! Good gracious alive.

Ken quickly called Carl, our pastor, and told him what we had discovered. I think he was as surprised as we were...or at least I hope he was :)

So, we made it through the day without any major causalities. Lego porn. NOW I've seen everything.