I'm not a dog fan. There I said it. I'm not. Not even close.
I just can't wrap my little brain around the idea of actually paying for a four-legged-pet, papers or not, and then taking care of them as if they were a child. I mean come on...you've got the feeding, the watering, the papering, the grooming, the walking with the poopy clean-up along the way, the obedience classes, and who could forget the ever-so-popular "doggie day care." It's enough to make my head spin and my wallet shrivel up and die.
Maybe I'm just way too lazy, but I can't imagine cleaning up after one more living creature. If I wanted to do that, I'd just ***swallowing loudly*** have another baby. At least that way we'd get a tax credit, right honey?
I know it's an unpopular opinion, maybe even an un-American one, but I don't care. Somebody needs to stand up for these guys, and I have self-appointed that somebody as ME.
I recently watched the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua and...okay let me stop myself right there. I should have said I grudgingly sat down and tried to watch this flick that my 4-year-old begged me to watch with him. How bad could it be? It's a cute kid movie.
I got about five minutes into this "movie" before I realized what I had succumb to. I'm watching a movie about dogs...not just any dogs but talking dogs for that matter...dogs that wear SHOES and HATS and LEATHER COATS and get PEDICURES.
Seriously? Why are we doing this to poor, innocent canines across our country? So, on behalf of dogs everywhere, let me just say that they HATE, with a capital H, wearing any type of clothing. Just to be clear, this would include any kind of shirt in any material, jewelry, shoes (yes, boots too), raincoats, hats (even with the appropriately sized openings for their ears), and please don't get me started on Halloween costumes.
Dogs are dogs. They sniff each others privates and drink out of toilets. They don't require countless trips to the groomer and the nail salon. Give them food, a bale of hay, some rain water, and maybe a flea collar, and they're good to go. That's all they need. Period.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for equal rights for all of God's creatures, but where I'm from, dogs were lucky to get FED. They sure as hell didn't wear CLOTHES. And don't tell Bob Barker, but we never had them spayed or neutered. That's what a water hose was for.
Perhaps I'm just a wee bit cynical, but deep down you all secretly agree with me. I'm all for vet visits, rabies shots, flea control, and maybe even an occasional bow or scarf in the fur. That's it. Just let it go. ***CHANTING (and holding my picket sign)***No more clothes...No more clothes...No more clothes!
I feel better already.
