"Beat It" Mandy M.

The following is a true story. While the events you are about to read about are in fact true, last names have been abbreviated to provide anonymity.

You've undoubtedly heard by now that, of course, Michael Jackson has officially died. Dead. Deceased. Gone from this Earth. And unless you live in a shack in the middle of the woods with "Dueling Banjos" playing in the background, you've heard at least one MJ classic song on the radio or T.V. since his untimely death.

I get it. He was the "King of Pop," his album "Thriller" is still the top selling album of all time, and he changed the way we view and hear music even today. Really, I get it. But, I still a little bitter. It all goes back to 1983 for me...

I was in the 3rd grade in Mrs. Dixon's class at McRae Elementary. One of my classmates, RaeLynn, always brought things to school to sell. At the time, that didn't seem all that unusual, but now looking back, I wonder who exactly lets an eight-year-old girl peddle items to her peers? And an even better question is why the school let it go on. Anything from homemade, teddy bear shaped lollipops to my all-time favorite, the coveted, amazing, one-of-a-kind Michael Jackson purse.

It was such a cute little carryall. I can still picture it now. It was solid black with a shoulder strap that could have doubled as a black shoestring and right there on the front was a picture of MJ himself in white. I was in love. The price? $5.00.

Seems like a deal in 2009, but in 1983, things were really tight for us. I begged and pleaded with my mom for five bucks, but my constant nagging, as I had assumed, went unrewarded. No purse for me. I would have to settle for looking at Mandy M's latest MJ accessory. She was so cool.

And it didn't help matters that she walked around taunting me with it. She'd carry it different ways just to annoy me..."normally" as one would expect to carry such a kickass handbag, casually without the shoestring strap, or my absolute favorite diagonally across her body. Any way she carried it spelled trouble for me and my now overwhelming envy.

And what did she carry in there anyway? We didn't wear make-up, and we didn't need feminine products just yet (thank God). Maybe she just carried around to see what else she could buy from RaeLynn and shove in there.

I have no idea whatever happened to RaeLynn or Mandy ***insert sarcasm here*** but just in case either one of them is reading this, I would like to tell you something. Something I've been meaning to say for years now...

"Beat It" Mandy. I've moved on. I now carry a purse that my little sister bought me from the Sarah Jessica Parker collection at Steve & Barry's. And yes, it cost $9.99, so if my math is correct, that's exactly double what your purse costs. It's big enough to carry around my wallet, gum, crayons, and even my cell phone (assuming it's charged and I know where it is).

There. Deep cleansing breath, and I'm done.